23, bisexual, and unemployed, (former) Princess Ariel is done waiting for her happily ever after. Now, she’s taking matters into her own hands — and becoming a pirate. Navigating the hopeless waters of the 2025 dating pool, love is hard to find… but Ariel means business.

And sometimes, business involves kidnapping.

In this shark-hating, one-woman whirl of comedy, song, and movement, Ariel sets sail on a journey of identity, pleasure, and self-discovery — hoping to answer one burning question: what does it mean to be human?